Week #6 (6-22-08)

June 22, 2008

Buenos Dias 211^th ward;

For those of you who missed last week’s edition of How You Doin’ Weekly or if you are just new to the ward, all of the past editions can be accessed on-line by going to www.howyoudoinweekly.blogspot.com

If you have any questions about dating that you would like the ward to answer, send an e-mail to byu211dating@gmail.com and or write them down and give them to me and I will make sure that the ward has a chance to answer your question. I ask you to write them down, otherwise I will forget. I have already had one person take advantage of this and will be posting the question soon.

Last week we went over the Top 10 Hot’s of dating. I ran out of room and so now we will cover the Top 10 Not’s of dating.

Top 10 Not’s

1. Talked only about himself: Although conversation is key, watch out not to become a “me monster”. If you are not familiar with what a me monster is check out the blog on-line to see the short Brian Regan skit. There was a three way tie for second.

2. Talked and texted on his cell phone: Today we sometimes do too much multitasking. Just remember that when you are on a date with someone that you should be spending the time getting to know your date. If there is an emergency or something where you might have to take a call just let your date know at the start of the date.

2. Date wasn’t planned a head: Getting in the car and asking your date what you want to do is not the best was to start things off, probably one of the worst. Take some time to plan the date out ahead of time.

2. He was not genuine: A lot of girls said that some of their dates just tried too hard to impress them. One thing I have realized when being on a date is to just be my best self. It all goes back to people liking you for who you really are.

5. When to the movies on first date: The point of a first date, and any date for that matter, it to better get to know the other person. If you spend 75% of the date mindlessly watching a movie, you are not going to be getting to know too much about your date.

6. Too touchy: Ya, that pretty much sums up what was said.

7. Talked to friends not me: This goes for group dates. If you are doubling up on a date, you might know everyone that is there but odds are your date doesn’t. It kind of goes back to the cell phone issue. Remember who you are on the date with.

8. Awkward silences: Awkward silence is never ideal on a date. Here is what you can do to help prevent this. Ask questions that will require an answer more than yes or no. Listen to what they say and ask more follow up questions, and this goes for the girls. Don’t just give yes or no answers, and make sure you ask him some questions too. Some of you have heard my store about a date I was on in St. George where the girl would only give a few word answers to any question I asked. It got so bad that married women sitting around us started to talk to me because they could see the trouble I was in. Bless those women.

9. Talked to much about his mission: This one I can understand from both points of view. First off, girls you have to remember the mission was 2 years for your date’s life, and for some those 2 years are the most recent years of their lives. To the guys, if you are going to talk about events that happened on your mission try and mix up how you talk about it. If something she said was like the same on my mission, I would say; the same thing happened when I was in Ohio, the same thing happened when I was back east, or say the same thing happened to me before. That way the focus is not your mission.

10. Too long, too many actives: As some of you know I have gone on my fair share of dates recently and I am a BIG believer in the 2-3 hour date. From the guys point of view they are easier to plan, typically less expensive, and just all around simpler. Since they are simpler, it is easier to go on more date. Plus if after an hour or so things aren’t going good, it’s nice to know that in about 30 minutes the date will be over.

Now the points of these lists were not to be for a weekly male bashing. They were created to answer some of the questions that guys asked. Hopefully those two lists were able to help guys realize what impressed and doesn’t impress girls. Hopefully it has helped some guys stop and think, I know I have made some mental notes about myself. If girls wanted to know what impressed and didn’t impressed guys I would be happy to ask them for you.

I want to finish this news letter with a question for you all: What is the point or purpose of going on a date? I hope that you will take the time to send me an e-mail, write a response on the blog, or send me a note at ward prayer. With all of your help, we will be able to have a good discussion about this.

Last of all, I wanted to thank all of those who participated in our ward dating activity this past week. To my knowledge, everyone had a good time. We will be planning more of those in the future.