Week #10 (7/20/08)

July 20, 2008

Bienvenidos 211^th ward;

I want to start off by thanking those guys that got back to me. I’ll be sharing the results in an upcoming How You Doin’ Weekly. I also want to thank the one girl that sent me an answer to the height question. I’m learning that the questionnaire might be the only way to get more answers.

I hope everyone has been enjoying their summer. Summer is a great time to spend some time in the sun. It is also a time when people like to take trips and spend some time with family. As a single individual, family reunions can be extra fun. It also becomes especially worse once you become one of the oldest grandkids that are single. I have personally experienced that this weekend.

It usually starts off by people asking you how things are going with work and school, and then they move on to find out how your dating life is going. If there is not much to report they then start to think of people to set you up with. In my family I am the youngest and the only one who is still single, so a family get-together sometimes turn into a let’s help to get Brad married session.

For any of you who are still single and slightly frustrated I have these yours of enragement for you. During Elder Oak’s CES fireside address back in 2005 he had his second wife speak. She started off by saying, “Thank you, Elder Oaks. I was married in my middle 50s, and I feel like I’m becoming the poster girl for old.” I want to focus on some of the things she continued to say;

It can be very painful to be single for such a long time, especially in a church of families. I know how it feels. On my 50th birthday my brother-in-law was reading the newspaper. He said, “Hey, it says here in the paper that at age 50 your chances for getting killed by terrorists are better than your chances for getting married.” I knew that dating was tough when he said that, but don’t give up. It isn’t a terrorist activity.

I would also say to you, be balanced. As a single woman, I had to go forward. I got a doctorate and became so involved in my profession that I forgot about being a good person. I would say to everyone in this room, always remember that your first calling is as a mother or as a father. Develop those domestic talents, talents of love and talents of service. As a single, I had to go searching for service projects, and now I have one every night across the table. I’m so thankful for that.

In closing, I think about the painful times in our lives. They will happen whether you are single or whether you are married. You may have a child that is very ill or the death of someone close to you or a period of life that is very lonely. You might lose a child or have a situation you have no control over, such as a lingering disease. I would ask you to consecrate that to Heavenly Father. In Helaman 3:35 we read that if we yield our hearts unto God, all our actions serve to sanctify us, and so any time becomes a blessed time.

CES Fireside May 1, 2005

Hopefully that will help any of you that might be feeling a little discouraged about still being single. I like how she challenged those who are single to be doing what they can to be a good person, and develop traits that a good mother or father would have.

I would like to leave everyone with a challenge as well and that is to do all that you can do. There are some things in life that you do not have total control over, dating and relationships are one of them. Missionary work is another thing in life that you do not have 100% control over, but I know that when I do all that I can opportunities arise.

An opportunity that everyone has in the ward is to attend one of the Ward Dating Activities. We would be holding them more often but surprisingly, we are not having enough girls in the ward sign up. Yes, that is right, guys are signing up but there are no girls that are signing up, so here is my challenge to you sister: grab one of your roommates and come to a ward dating activity.

Week #9 (7/13/08)

July 13, 2008

Good evening 211^th ward;

Some of you may have noticed that the How You Doin’ Weekly has been passed out at different times the past two weeks. We have been trying to find the optimal time for it to be passed out. Hopefully soon we should have that figured out.

For those of you who have not been to a WDA (Ward Dating Activity) they have been a lot of fun! This past week was no exception. I can say with confidence that everyone had a great time and that everyone walked away knowing each other a little better. After all, that is what a date is all about getting to know each other and having fun, in that order.

I wise man once told me that when you are dating someone, you should try and do different activities. The main reason he said was so that you could see how people acted and reacted in different circumstances. That way you get to see all different sides of the people you date. That is one of the goals of the WDAs (Ward Dating Activities) and I would say that the one last week helped to see some good different sides of people.

What we did last week for the WDA is we got dinner and took it to a park to play a game. Dinner consisted of stopping by four fast food restaurants (McDonalds, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, and Carl’s Jr.) and ordering something that was a dollar or less from each of them. In case you come on our next WDA, we will probably replace Wendy’s with Berger King, and believe it or not there are items at Carl’s Jr. that is a dollar or less.

After getting all of our food, we took it to a local park and there played improv apples to apples. Although many of you have played apples to apples, there is one major difference in playing improv apples to apples. You each take a turn where one person draws a green apple and everyone has to place a red apple in a pile in the middle that describes the green apple. This is where the game differs. After everyone had places a red apple in the middle, the pile is mixed up and everyone who put an apple in the middle is dealt a red apple face down. It is important that no one looks at the red apple they are dealt. Once everyone has a red apple face down, starting at the dealers left, they flip over their red apple and try and convince everyone why the red apple in front of them fits the green apple the best.

This is a very entertaining way of playing. On Tuesday we all heard why the moon was fresh and how emotional the electric chair can be. Although I still can’t remember why Ninjas are revolutionary, I was surprised that the Men in Black were not fantastic. Like Steve pointed out, “who wouldn’t want one of those things to make people forget things? Having one of those would be fantastic.” But, my personal favorite for the night had to be when Jenna told us how morticians were glamorous. “Morticians make everything look beautiful and colorful and there are all of the flowers. It’s like a wedding…… but their dead.”

Ah, good times and great fun. So if you want to understand the inside jokes from our next WDA, sign up today. Talk to me, send me an e-mail, or send me a note today and I will get you signed up for our next WDA.

Before I end today, I have a question to pose to the guys and the girls. I received about 10 responses from the guys on the question I posted last week. I’m giving the guys another chance to respond to the question: what things have girls done on dates that have impressed you and not impressed you? To the girls this question was asked: would you consider dating a guy that was shorter then you?

Feel free to use this paper, e-mail me, send a note after ward prayer, or make a post on the blog.

Week #8 (7-6-08)

July 6, 2008

Happy independence time of year 211^th ward;

I hope you all have had a wonderful 4^th of July weekend and for all of those who went out of town, welcome back. I wanted to start off this week by clearing up a few questions that I was asked concerning the Ward Dating Activity that will be held this month.

How often will we be holding them? I was planning on holding them every Tuesday night (that we have enough couples). Last week not enough people signed up, so we did not have one on the 1^st. So far we have a few openings for the 8^th so if you would like to come please let me know.

Are all of the couples are going to stay together the whole time, or are we going to split up? The activities are designed to have all the couples stay together the whole time. So, guys won’t have to worry about having to entertain the girl all by yourselves and girls don’t have to worry that they will be abandoned.

Is the date free? For the girls, yes the date is free. For the activity this month the guy will be spending about $3. Considering everyone will be getting dinner, that is not bad.

Hopefully that will clear up a few questions that some of you might still be having. If you are interested in going to a Ward Dating Activity let me know. If want to go but Tuesday night will not work for you let me know and I will get a group together to go another time. I have already had a few people come to me about doing it another night.

Since I have been set apart, I have been noticing more things out there on dating. Recently when I was logging on to check my e-mail I noticed an article entitled; Five Signs of a Great Date. For those of you who would like to view the article in its fullness, there will be a link on the blog. A girl was asked to tell five signs of a great dat and a guy was asked to do the same. They each cover 5 signs; I’m just going to post a few of each of them.

SHE SAYS:

He spent time planning the date. Did he think beyond just asking you out and make a reservation somewhere?

He maintains eye contact throughout the night. Your eye contact should coincide with a nice ebb and flow of conversation, not just him or you doing all the talking.

You both can't wait to talk to each other again -- and I stress actually talk, not send emails or text messages. A great first date always leaves something to the imagination...

HE SAYS:

Your date laughs the whole time you're together. This is especially good if she's laughing with you and not at the lettuce between your front teeth. If your date isn't laughing, then you're not entertaining her or she's not interested.

When you're out on the town with your date, she sees her girlfriends and insists they come over and meet you. This is a very good sign. It means you just passed the "good enough to be seen with in public" test.

Those are just some things to think about. Before I end today, I have a question to pose to the guys. After posting the Hot’s and Not’s of dating, a girl asked me: what things have girls done on dates that have impressed you and not impressed you? Feel free to use this paper, e-mail me, send a note after ward prayer, or make a post on the blog.

Week #7 (6-29-08)

June 28, 2008

Good day 211^th ward;

First off I want to thank the person who sent me an answer to the question I asked. I wasn’t expecting too many answers, but I was expecting more than just one person to answer the question that was posted. I’ll take that as a sign there wasn’t too much interest in talking about dates so I’ll move on.

Some of you might have recalled one of the last questions in the questionnaire that was passed out was in regards to ward sponsored dating activities. After much discussion on the subject, the ward will be sponsoring dating activities this summer. How it will work is those who would like to go on a date will just need to get in contact with me and then I will take a list of the guys and the girls and set them up randomly. The date will take place on Tuesday night. For those of you who are never free that night, let me know when you sign up and when we get enough people, we will have and activity on a Saturday.

The activities are targeted to be an hour and a half to two and a half hours in length. Every date will include an activity and treat of some kind. The date night will be planned and heavily subsidized by the ward. Guys will be asked to pay a small amount of money ($2-$4 depending on the date) for the date.

The ward held its first dating activity on Tuesday June 17th and a fun time was pretty much had by all. Now setting people up in the ward has never been my goal in this call. As you remember, I said that is a job for the ward match maker. So far, we have talked about the hot’s and not’s for dating, but there comes a point that talking about something is just not enough. These ward dating activities are a chance for some of you to act on what we have talked about. It is just like anything, you don’t truly learn about something until you actual do it.

In life, some things are what you make of them. These ward sponsored activities are the same way. Are you going to meet your future spouse at one of these dating activities, probably not, but I promise that you will walk away something valuable at the end of the night.

This month for the dating activity, we are going to be having a light progressive dinner with an outdoor activity at the end. Let me know if you are interested. For those who choose to participate, I’m look forward to the fun that those in the ward will have on these date.

There is one last thing everyone one should be aware of. There are some fun evens coming this week at BYU between Thursday July 3rd and Saturday the 5th. In the morning (about 6:00 am) there is the Balloon Festival. The Balloon Festival is where hot air balloons lift off in a field next to Provo High. Although it is early in the morning, I have been told by people who have gone to the event before that it is a lot of fun. On center street in Provo there is also Colonial Days. Colonial Days is a colonial village re-creation that includes crafts and a food fair. All three activities have the potential for a good time.

Week #6 (6-22-08)

June 22, 2008

Buenos Dias 211^th ward;

For those of you who missed last week’s edition of How You Doin’ Weekly or if you are just new to the ward, all of the past editions can be accessed on-line by going to www.howyoudoinweekly.blogspot.com

If you have any questions about dating that you would like the ward to answer, send an e-mail to byu211dating@gmail.com and or write them down and give them to me and I will make sure that the ward has a chance to answer your question. I ask you to write them down, otherwise I will forget. I have already had one person take advantage of this and will be posting the question soon.

Last week we went over the Top 10 Hot’s of dating. I ran out of room and so now we will cover the Top 10 Not’s of dating.

Top 10 Not’s

1. Talked only about himself: Although conversation is key, watch out not to become a “me monster”. If you are not familiar with what a me monster is check out the blog on-line to see the short Brian Regan skit. There was a three way tie for second.

2. Talked and texted on his cell phone: Today we sometimes do too much multitasking. Just remember that when you are on a date with someone that you should be spending the time getting to know your date. If there is an emergency or something where you might have to take a call just let your date know at the start of the date.

2. Date wasn’t planned a head: Getting in the car and asking your date what you want to do is not the best was to start things off, probably one of the worst. Take some time to plan the date out ahead of time.

2. He was not genuine: A lot of girls said that some of their dates just tried too hard to impress them. One thing I have realized when being on a date is to just be my best self. It all goes back to people liking you for who you really are.

5. When to the movies on first date: The point of a first date, and any date for that matter, it to better get to know the other person. If you spend 75% of the date mindlessly watching a movie, you are not going to be getting to know too much about your date.

6. Too touchy: Ya, that pretty much sums up what was said.

7. Talked to friends not me: This goes for group dates. If you are doubling up on a date, you might know everyone that is there but odds are your date doesn’t. It kind of goes back to the cell phone issue. Remember who you are on the date with.

8. Awkward silences: Awkward silence is never ideal on a date. Here is what you can do to help prevent this. Ask questions that will require an answer more than yes or no. Listen to what they say and ask more follow up questions, and this goes for the girls. Don’t just give yes or no answers, and make sure you ask him some questions too. Some of you have heard my store about a date I was on in St. George where the girl would only give a few word answers to any question I asked. It got so bad that married women sitting around us started to talk to me because they could see the trouble I was in. Bless those women.

9. Talked to much about his mission: This one I can understand from both points of view. First off, girls you have to remember the mission was 2 years for your date’s life, and for some those 2 years are the most recent years of their lives. To the guys, if you are going to talk about events that happened on your mission try and mix up how you talk about it. If something she said was like the same on my mission, I would say; the same thing happened when I was in Ohio, the same thing happened when I was back east, or say the same thing happened to me before. That way the focus is not your mission.

10. Too long, too many actives: As some of you know I have gone on my fair share of dates recently and I am a BIG believer in the 2-3 hour date. From the guys point of view they are easier to plan, typically less expensive, and just all around simpler. Since they are simpler, it is easier to go on more date. Plus if after an hour or so things aren’t going good, it’s nice to know that in about 30 minutes the date will be over.

Now the points of these lists were not to be for a weekly male bashing. They were created to answer some of the questions that guys asked. Hopefully those two lists were able to help guys realize what impressed and doesn’t impress girls. Hopefully it has helped some guys stop and think, I know I have made some mental notes about myself. If girls wanted to know what impressed and didn’t impressed guys I would be happy to ask them for you.

I want to finish this news letter with a question for you all: What is the point or purpose of going on a date? I hope that you will take the time to send me an e-mail, write a response on the blog, or send me a note at ward prayer. With all of your help, we will be able to have a good discussion about this.

Last of all, I wanted to thank all of those who participated in our ward dating activity this past week. To my knowledge, everyone had a good time. We will be planning more of those in the future.

Week #5 (6-15-08)

June 15, 2008

Happy Father’s day 211^th ward;

For those of you who missed last week’s edition of How You Doin’ Weekly (where we talked about boy’s issues with commitment) or if you are just new to the ward, all of the past editions can be accessed on line by going to http://www.howyoudoinweekly.blogspot.com/.

At the beginning of the month in the ward news letter there was the top 10 Hot’s and Not’s of dating. These have been taken from the essay question found on the girl’s questionnaire. It should be noted that not all of the answers given on the questionnaire made the top ten lists. Each of the answers was ranked by how frequently they appeared, #1 being the most.

Top 10 Hot’s

1. Opens doors: It was close, but what most girls commented on was guy who opens doors for them. In addition to opening the door for her, it was reported that a girl would be impressed with a guy that continued to keep the door open for those who followed in after her.

2. Good conversation: This only lost to opens doors by one person, so it is very important. So what makes for a good conversation? One girl put it this way, “Good conversationalist -> asked me questions and answered and expounded on the questions I asked.” A good conversation might start off with simple get to know you questions, but then the conversation will build off what each person has to say.

3. Date was planned a head: Not only is preparedness very high on the hot’s list, but lack of preparedness in #2 on the not’s list so here are some things to keep in mind. If you are going to an even that you can pay for beforehand, do it. It shows girls that you think a head and will make the night go smoother. Some girls just like to have the guy take charge of the whole date and others like to be more involved. “He bought me dinner and gave me 3 choices to pick from, that way it’s in his price range and I am involved.” It never does hurt to ask the girl if there is anything that she doesn’t like to eat or do. There is nothing worse than going somewhere to eat and your date is allergic pretty much everything on the menu.

4. He talked and acted genuine: Let’s be honest, the two times that people like to make themselves sound better than they really might be is when they are interviewing for a job, and going out on a date. No one likes to be with anyone who is fake. After a while, anything they say makes you start to wonder if it is really the truth. Another thing to keep in mind is that any question you ask your date, make sure you listen to the answer. There is nothing more insincere then you ask someone “how their day has been” and they say “terrible”, if you reply “well that is good” someone was not listening.

5. He was dressed nice & 8. He smelled nice; both cover personal hygiene and self-respect. As you will see in #6, the girl is going to be thoughtful about what she is going to be wearing to the date, and so should you. Watch out for smelling too good (smelling too strong).

6. Communicated what the date would be: I have learned that some girls are going to more time figuring out what they are going to be wearing on a date then some guys spend planning it. With that in mind, it is really helpful to the girl to know if they are going to be doing something that is out-doors or in-doors, if the activity is going to be active or not, and if they are going to be getting messy or not (just to name a few). Now if you’re a guy like me, sometimes I like to have the activity be a surprise so I will tell them not to worry about their hair to much because it will be getting wet, or however it would apply to the activity that we will be doing. A word of caution about keeping a girl in the dark, some girls REALLY don’t like that so you might not want to do that on a first date.

7. He had a positive attitude: No one likes to be around a grouch. They tend to be so negative and draining. Look for the positive in life is just a good thing to do all around and it will also help you with #9 on the list.

9. He complemented me & 10. He stood up for me: Just treat your date with respect. If you are like me, you might like to joke around sometimes, but on a first date, that is something that you are going to want to be careful with. She might not know you are joking and they feelings might be hurt . That is never what you want to have happen on any date.

It looks like we ran out of space so we will go over the not’s next week. For those of you who are looking for dating ideas still check out http://www.heraldextra.com/. Mid way down on the left side of the page there is a link to events in the area. Some would make for great dates and others just sound fun like the Guitar Hero III tournament coming up on the 21th.

Week #4 (6-8-08)

June 8, 2008

Hola 211^th ward;

Before we continue answer your questions today there are two things we need to go over. First, everyone who ordered a starving student card should have their cards by now. I hate to kick a dead horse, but if you are interested in a card still I have a very limited number and they are only $7.50. The second item we need to talk about is upcoming activities and events.

I hope that some of you have taken the time to check out the two links, eventsmanagement.byu.edu and byunews.byu.edu/calendar. If you haven’t, here are a few things that are coming up: BYU Carillon concert Thursday, June 19 at 7:00 PM by the BYU bell tower. Balloon Festival Thursday through Saturday, July 3 -5. Freedom Days crafts and food fair Thursday through Saturday, July 3 - 5. Center Street Provo. Colonial Days, a colonial village re-creation at 275 E. Center Street July 2 – 5.

Don’t hesitate to call me if you have any questions or need another couple to double with on a date. A few of you have asked me for help on what to do on a first date and I hope I was able to help. Now let’s just jump into the questions.

When guys where asked, what’s your problem with commitment? The answers ranged from “I don’t have a problem” to “it’s scary.” Some guys admitted that they like to be able to do what they want when they want, another said “I don’t like to commit to dating girls that I am not really interested in”, and others say that they haven’t found anyone to commit to or that the “grass is greener on the other side.” It’s true that some boys aren’t simply ready to commit, but that is far from the majority of this ward.

I can understand some of the men in the ward that find commitment scary. I can relate most with the guy who said, “I feel like as soon as you advance from “casual dating” to a committed relationship,

the girl thinks you’re gonna marry her, and I’m just not ready for that!” Obviously marriage can and does result from some committed relationship, but not all of them. Another guy in the ward talked about how if you rush into a relationship and things don’t work out it can be pretty awkward, and even more so if both of you are in the same ward.

A lot of guys commented that it takes time to commit. Someone in the ward sent me an e-mail about commitment this week and this is what he had to say: I completely agree -- there is a problem there. But in the guys' defense here is a pithy quote from every girl's favorite book, "Pride and Prejudice" Chapter V: "A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment." So keep in mind that it does take time and it also takes two.

A fair amount for guys did comment that they have been willing and wanting to commit in the past, but that the girl was not willing or didn’t wanted to commit. I personally can relate to these guys as well. My advice to them, and any girl that might be in that situation, is this. After a reasonable amount of time of waiting for the other person to commit, although it may be hard, move on. Odds are that there will come a day that they will look back and see that they let you go and will wonder to themselves, “what I were thinking”. It doesn’t always happen, but I know it does because a few girls that let me go later confessed to me about how they wish “they would have done things differently.”

So I have an idea to help all of us. If we all could do a better job of communicating with each other, it would make for a lot less confusion. I know girls have told me that it would be helpful for them to know if there was going to be another date, or if “you would just be seeing them around”. It helps with the girl’s expectation. Now I’m not saying to have a DTR after every date, but just something simple. As for the girls… you need to realize men are pretty simple. If you talk, joke, and flirt with us after a date, we’ll take it that there might be interest in another date. If you take “the hard to get” approach, odds are the guy is going to think that you are not interest. Although I like to play all sorts of games as much as the next person, I’m not a fan of “the games” people play with each other while dating. I know that many of you feel the same way I do, now we just all need to act that way.

Week #3 (6-1-08)

June 1, 2008

Hello there 211^th ward;

I wanted to thank all of those who filled out the questionnaire last Sunday or e-mailed me a questionnaire during the week. The answers to all of the questions will be discussed in the next additions of How You Doin’ Weekly, but before we go into that I want to stress one more time that if you want a starving student card I will be buying them directly from the company this week for $15 a card. Let me know ASAP if you would like a card.

Now lets answer some questions. The question was asked, do guys like girls with long or short hair? Most guys said that they did not care as long as it looks good on them. I think it was stated best when someone said, “Guys like girls. (period)” Other guys did comment that the shortest they would have a girls hair would be shoulder or chin length.

Another girl asked, Does a boy think “Lets watch a movie” means: Lets cuddle, I want to cuddle, or none of the above? Ladies beware, if you say to a guy that you want to watch a movie 60% of the guys in the ward might think that you will want to cuddle. So if you want to cuddle with a guy you now know what to do. If you want to watch a movie I would listen to what one guy in the ward said, “honestly, your (the girls) body language while you’re watching the movie is the determining factor. “ So if you have gone on a few dates with a guy and then tell him that you want to watch a movie, you now know how guys might take it. Now I have a few answers for the guys.

One question asked how long the first date should be. The average times came to be between 2-3 hours. To some that might seem short but here are what some girls had to say; “I want to be left wanting more.” Another wrote, “Initially- Less is more! You want her craving to see you again!” A date lasting 2-3 hours can do that for you. The other question might surprise you as well.

When asked about using a coupon on a date, 87% for the girls thought it was a positive thing. Some commented on that they felt the guy was responsible handling money, another said that he would be “a man after my own heart.” However, there are three things to keep in mind when using a coupon on a date.

Don’t make a big deal about it. Girls don’t like it when you let them know how much money you just saved. The second is along those lines. Don’t try and justify it. Telling them that you are a poor student can make them feel guilty about you spending money on them all together. The last thing that girls commented on was that using a coupon is fine as long as they are not limited to what they get. So if you are using a buy one get one free on a meal, it would be wise to let them choose what they want to eat and then you get the same thing free.

With that in mind, if you are interested in getting a starving student card please talk to me today. That also goes for the sisters in the ward. So far I have more girls that are interested in getting one of these cards then guys. In addition to deals, there are some great date ideas on these cards. If you are interested in trying to get some free ideas and deals on actives you can go to jiffylube and ask for a Summer Blast Pass or go to www.valpak.com for other ideas and deals. The Summer Blast Pass has deals for Fat Cats, Trafalga, Seven Peaks, and more.

If you need help with some dating ideas and activities I would recommend you check out these links, eventsmanagement.byu.edu and byunews.byu.edu/calendar. There are lists things that you can do that are either free or about $5 for a couple at BYU. Some of these activities range from old 3D movies to comedy shows.

Make sure you read the ward news letter to see the top 10 list for the hot’s and not’s for dating. We will be going into more detail on those next week along with answering one of the questions the girls asked the guys, what is your problem with commitment?

Week #2 (5-25-08)

Good afternoon 211^th ward;

I wanted to start off by thanking those who submitted questions this past week and to all those who helped by answering those questions. For those of you that expressed that you might want to have a question answered later feel free to send your question, in a note after Ward prayer, or you can e-mail your question to byu211dating@gmail.com. I’ll give my feedback on your questions and also open it up for the Ward to comment.

Now we have all had a few laughs about dating, which is good. On a serious note, marriage is an important step to our obtaining salvation (see D&C 131). Now I know that you might be asked this all the time from different family members, but I want you to honestly think about how you are doing on your preparation to getting married?

Since, according to Elder Oaks, dating “leads to marriage, in some rare and treasured cases,” we are going to focus on dating. Just as a Ward Mission Leader is there to support new members join the church; I am here to help with dating, it’s my calling. That being said, I want to point out one other thing that Elder Oaks said in that same CES fireside;

Simple and more frequent dates allow both men and women to “shop around” in a way that allows extensive evaluation of the prospects. The old-fashioned date was a wonderful way to get acquainted with a member of the opposite sex. It encouraged conversation. It allowed you to see how you treat others and how you are treated in a one-on-one situation. It gave opportunities to learn how to initiate and sustain a mature relationship. None of that happens in hanging out.

CES Fireside for Young Adults • May 1, 2005

One of the major keys to a simple, inexpensive date is to do a little planning and research to see what activities and deals are available. A lot of places have specials during the week such as half price tickets at the dollar theaters on Tuesday night. While driving to and from work, I noticed at a local drive-in was offering a special of 2 for 1 shakes on Monday and Wednesday night after 5:00 PM. I ended up taking a date there this past Wednesday night.

Although neither of us had been to the Rocky Mountain Drive-In before, we both had a good time and enjoyed our shakes over conversations about crazy drive-ins we had been to before. I learned a lot about her small home town in Idaho, and she learned a little more about me. The date was simple and inexpensive making it easier for there to be a second date if both of us are interested.

Another place to look for deals is in the mail box. Between all of the ads and the letters that you get for people that do not live at the apartments anymore, there can be good deals and ideas for date in the mail box. The usually deals that I have seen have been 2 for 1 discounts on such things as bowling, mini golf, laser tag, improv shows, and other activated. Once, I noticed in the mail a coupon for $10 off at Red Lobster and there was no minimal amount you had to spend. Needless to say a few weeks later my date and I enjoyed a nice shrimp lunch that didn’t really set me back.

Another great way to save is with the Starving Student card. There are countless places that you can save on activates, restaurants, and places to get treats with this card. Normally you can buy this card for $20 at the BYU bookstore. I have been talking to the makers of the card and believe that we can get a discount on the card if we make one large group order.

If you are interested in the different offers on the starving student card you can visit their website at www.starvingstudentcard.com or contact me. If you are interested in getting a card please let me know. Hopefully these ideas will help with making your dates a little bit simpler and inexpensive, but still just as fun.

Week #1 (5 -18-06)

Hello 211^th ward;

This is your soon to be sustained Ward Dating Specialist. Yes, that is right; the 211^th ward has a “Ward Dating Specialist.” Many of you might be surprised to find out that there is a real calling called Ward Dating Specialist, I know was. So what does a Ward Dating Specialist do? That is an excellent question. Let me start off by telling you what I don’t do.

I have not been called to set people up. That would be a job for a Ward Matchmaker. I don’t think that is a calling, but I was surprised with the Ward Dating Specialist so you never know. One of the main goals of my calling is to let everyone in the ward know of fun activities that you can take a date to. Since we are all students, many of these activities will be designed to accommodate a low income budget. In addition to posting low-cost fun activities, I would also like to post some commentary from the ward on dating.

Let’s be honest, we have all been on some dates that… well at the time might have been weird or creepy, but looking back they make for great stories. I’m going to be passing out questionnaires next week in each Elders Quorums and Relief Societies. I am going to be asking the brothers to share some dating ideas. I am going to ask the sisters to share some things that guys did on a first date that you liked and things guys might have done that you did not like. This information will be used to point out the “Hots and Nots” of dating.

I’m looking forward as serving as your Ward Dating Specialist. Hopefully we all will be able to have a little fun this summer as we explore the wonderful world of dating.