Week #5 (6-15-08)

June 15, 2008

Happy Father’s day 211^th ward;

For those of you who missed last week’s edition of How You Doin’ Weekly (where we talked about boy’s issues with commitment) or if you are just new to the ward, all of the past editions can be accessed on line by going to http://www.howyoudoinweekly.blogspot.com/.

At the beginning of the month in the ward news letter there was the top 10 Hot’s and Not’s of dating. These have been taken from the essay question found on the girl’s questionnaire. It should be noted that not all of the answers given on the questionnaire made the top ten lists. Each of the answers was ranked by how frequently they appeared, #1 being the most.

Top 10 Hot’s

1. Opens doors: It was close, but what most girls commented on was guy who opens doors for them. In addition to opening the door for her, it was reported that a girl would be impressed with a guy that continued to keep the door open for those who followed in after her.

2. Good conversation: This only lost to opens doors by one person, so it is very important. So what makes for a good conversation? One girl put it this way, “Good conversationalist -> asked me questions and answered and expounded on the questions I asked.” A good conversation might start off with simple get to know you questions, but then the conversation will build off what each person has to say.

3. Date was planned a head: Not only is preparedness very high on the hot’s list, but lack of preparedness in #2 on the not’s list so here are some things to keep in mind. If you are going to an even that you can pay for beforehand, do it. It shows girls that you think a head and will make the night go smoother. Some girls just like to have the guy take charge of the whole date and others like to be more involved. “He bought me dinner and gave me 3 choices to pick from, that way it’s in his price range and I am involved.” It never does hurt to ask the girl if there is anything that she doesn’t like to eat or do. There is nothing worse than going somewhere to eat and your date is allergic pretty much everything on the menu.

4. He talked and acted genuine: Let’s be honest, the two times that people like to make themselves sound better than they really might be is when they are interviewing for a job, and going out on a date. No one likes to be with anyone who is fake. After a while, anything they say makes you start to wonder if it is really the truth. Another thing to keep in mind is that any question you ask your date, make sure you listen to the answer. There is nothing more insincere then you ask someone “how their day has been” and they say “terrible”, if you reply “well that is good” someone was not listening.

5. He was dressed nice & 8. He smelled nice; both cover personal hygiene and self-respect. As you will see in #6, the girl is going to be thoughtful about what she is going to be wearing to the date, and so should you. Watch out for smelling too good (smelling too strong).

6. Communicated what the date would be: I have learned that some girls are going to more time figuring out what they are going to be wearing on a date then some guys spend planning it. With that in mind, it is really helpful to the girl to know if they are going to be doing something that is out-doors or in-doors, if the activity is going to be active or not, and if they are going to be getting messy or not (just to name a few). Now if you’re a guy like me, sometimes I like to have the activity be a surprise so I will tell them not to worry about their hair to much because it will be getting wet, or however it would apply to the activity that we will be doing. A word of caution about keeping a girl in the dark, some girls REALLY don’t like that so you might not want to do that on a first date.

7. He had a positive attitude: No one likes to be around a grouch. They tend to be so negative and draining. Look for the positive in life is just a good thing to do all around and it will also help you with #9 on the list.

9. He complemented me & 10. He stood up for me: Just treat your date with respect. If you are like me, you might like to joke around sometimes, but on a first date, that is something that you are going to want to be careful with. She might not know you are joking and they feelings might be hurt . That is never what you want to have happen on any date.

It looks like we ran out of space so we will go over the not’s next week. For those of you who are looking for dating ideas still check out http://www.heraldextra.com/. Mid way down on the left side of the page there is a link to events in the area. Some would make for great dates and others just sound fun like the Guitar Hero III tournament coming up on the 21th.